


Someone Find The Groom

by LadyKiri (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-20 11:49:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6004864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LadyKiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux and Finn are kinda a thing. Hux enjoys the company of an obedient, gorgeous, wonderful man. Finn likes sleeping in a bed with satin sheets. It's casual. They're cool. Till Hux proposes. </p><p>(But bonus points for Kylo totally losing his composure and laughing hysterically when he finds out a Stormtrooper broke out a fucking resistance pilot so he didn't have to marry Hux.)</p><p>TFA-kink meme fill: http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/2821.html?thread=4800773#cmt4800773</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If I am going to rare ship Hell, I might as well go for the throne. Also I should get out of the kink meme until I am done with my current wips. But I saw this and I had to. 
> 
> Warnings: Crack? Kylo Ren is an asshole.

FN-2187 has always been Sanitation, is not a proud career path for a trooper like him. But it does keep him from the battlefield and he’s pretty much accepted it as the one thing he’s going to do for the rest of his life. 

Maybe that’s why when he gets offered a spot on General Hux’s bed, FN-2187 accepts without a second thought. It is not unusual for some of the officials to bed each other or troopers. And the later are a lot easier to get rid of after a bad breakup or when they get bored, with the added bonus that you will never have to look at them in the face every day. 

Plus, FN-2187 admits that it could be a lot worse. Hux is a handsome man, even if he’s certain that it is impossible for the man to smile. That his expression is frozen in that scorned look until the day he dies—likely a product of having to deal with Kylo Ren’s tantrums constantly.

He also can’t deny there are certain benefits to the arrangement.

In the form of a nice warm soft bed, with nice satin sheets that rub against his naked skin deliciously. It is the best sleep FN-2187 gets in his twenty-three years of life. The mornings after leaving him ready to face the world—and the garbage. 

In those nights he also doesn’t have to deal with his snoring fellow troopers. 

The sex is cool too. A bit rougher than what FN-2187 would have preferred. But Hux enjoys praise, giving and receiving. He sucks and bites bruises against his skin that no one will see either way, but the other man seems to enjoy and admire. 

He opens FN-2187 up with slender knowing fingers until he is whimpering against the pillows before fucking him raw against the same satin sheets he loves so much. Other times Hux lets him fuck him. 

He strides his hips and stretches himself up, one hand working himself open while the other lazily strokes his own cock. FN-2187 whimpers and only watches while the red haired man rides his cock for what feels like hours. 

It is during those nights that Hux presses his body against FN-2187, buries his nose against his neck. Then when he is ready for a second round, he fucks FN-2187. 

Then come the gifts, which are nice too. Treats from other worlds FN-2187 will never get to see, but melt in his mouth. Blankets. Underwear? Even a better undershirt for his armor. Fruits and many other treats he can’t name. 

It is unusual for officers to offer troopers things like that, but then maybe it isn’t something they share. It isn’t like he has that many friends to begin with, and none of the members of his squadron had been picked. So he accepts them all with a smile and doesn’t think too much about it when Hux pushes him down on the bed.

It all takes an abrupt change during the mission to Jakku, and looking back he should have seen it coming.

FN-2187 is lying on Hux’s bed. He doesn’t have a lot of time before he has to join Phasma and the other men. But the warm from the covers is slowly luring towards sleep when he feels a hand on his chest. “FN-2187?” 

“General?” He responds almost drowsily. 

“I wanted to…ask you something.” When FN-2187 opens his eyes Hux is looking down at him with an expression he can’t recognize, but immediately makes him uneasy. 

“Of course, sir.”

Hux swallows before he is helping FN-2187 up into a sitting position. He grabs his hands and stares into his eyes and says the last thing he would have expected from the man’s mouth. 

“I want you to become my consort.” 

“What?” FN-2187 finally asks after a moment of awkward silence. 

“I want you to become my….husband.” He opens his mouth, but Hux wraps his hand over it. “Hush. I know it’s crazy. A general and a stormtropper, my father would kill me if he was still alive. But our time together has been the best of my life. You are sweet and loyal and perfect.” 

Hux is smiling now. “I have been watching you. You are the best of your class. Even Phasma has dropped your name as a possible replacement. Of course as my husband you will be more than some low trooper captain. You’ll be a real commander—standing by my side.” At the last words he entwines their fingers together.

“So?”

FN-2187 has no words. This was supposed to be a quick fuck. Probably for a couple of turns until the General got bored and moved on.

Marriage? 

He swallowed and looked at his options. He couldn’t say yes. But saying no? Force knows how the other would react. 

FN-2187 could end up as target practice for Kylo KRIFFING Ren. 

He was thankful the other couldn’t read mind because his brain was screaming to him that he needed to get out. 

An eternity with Hux as his husband?

Having to listen to how terrible the Knight of Ren was and how much their repairs costed him? 

“I…I just remember Phasma told me I needed to be there….early.”

He doesn’t stay to see how the other’s reaction. But jumps out of bed instead. Grabbing his armor as he goes and not even bothering to get them on because Hux is already calling after him. 

The halls are thankfully empty in the upper levels and FN-2187 finds a closet to dress up and disappear between the white of Stormtrooper armor. 

Things only get worse after that. Jakku. 

General Hux’s proposition is still haunting his mind and then when the time comes he can’t even pull the trigger. They take a prisoner with them and when they arrive to the Finalizer Phasma pulled him aside and informed him that General Hux had requested his presence immediately.

FN-2187 couldn’t do this.

So he did something less crazy than confronting the infatuated General, he broke out a war prisoner and escaped with him in a TIE-fighter.

-

“The pilot has escaped, sir.”

Hux was seen red. “How?” 

“He had help. One of our numbers sir.” 

A traitor in his ranks? Impossible. 

When Kylo stepped inside Hux turned to glare at the other man. “The pilot.” It wasn’t a question. He could already hear the smugness in his voice. 

He couldn’t understand it. Snoke was going to be mad at the two of them. “We’re checking to see who freed him.” 

“The stormtrooper from the village, FN-2187.”

Hux heart stopped. “No.” He didn’t realize he’d said it out loud until he heard a chuckle from his side. 

He was already regretting it, but he turned towards the taller male. Kylo had his arms crossed over his chest and even with his mask on, he knew he was smirking. 

Hux was also reminded that Kylo could read minds and like Hux probably knew everything that happened in the first order. Including his private life. “Figures even a Stormtrooper would rather face desertion and run off with a rebel pilot than marry you." 

Hux’s face was burning with anger and shame as the Knight chuckled one last time and strode away. “GET ME THAT TROOPER.”

“Don’t you mean the pilot and droid, sir?” 

“I KNOW WHAT I SAID.”


	2. Most Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn didn't sign up for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still un-beta'd, so all mistakes are my own.

The universe hates Finn.

It might be crazy to believe that the universe itself is focusing all of its negative energy on a single individual, but it is the only logical explanation for his rotten luck. Maybe he pissed a force user in another life and this is his punishment.

It all starts with Phasma. 

They’re running out of time trying to get Rey back from Kylo’s clutches, as well as stop the Starkiller base from destroying the Resistance Base as well as more innocent planers. Finn knows one person who would be able to do it, his old captain. 

Capturing his old captain is surprisingly easily when you have a wookie on your side and all goes well—until she takes a look at him.

“FN-2187, what are you doing?”

“That’s not my name anymore, I’m Finn and I’m in control now!” Finn says a little too strong, but has his weapon on her, and is too thrilled to finally be the one running things. 

Han Solo looks at him with a raised eyebrow and shakes his head. “Tone it down, kid.”

“I didn’t raise you to do this—“ Betray the First Order Finn finishes inside his head. But that’s not what she says to his surprise, “To break someone’s heart.” Finn’s mind comes to a halt.

“I mean, really. Hanging out with these rebel scum. Running away with Resistance Pilots.” Phasma actually sounds disappointed in him. 

He hears Han’s insulted, “scum?” from somewhere to his left.

“And leaving your fiancé behind for one of them. How could you allow yourself to be seduced by that pilot?” He can’t see Phasma’s face, but he can still imagine the scornful look of disappointment she’s wearing. 

“He’s not my fiancé! I never said yes!” Unseen by Finn Solo and Chewie exchange a look of confusion, but with a hint interest. He also doesn’t think too much into the whole “seduced by Poe” thing.

“You accepted all the courting gifts.” 

And then it hit him. All those gifts. Hux sudden shyness whenever Finn accepted them. 

Oh—dear—Force.

“No.” He gapes. “I didn’t know. I thought he was just being nice.” Or thankful. How was he supposed to know that? It wasn’t like courtship traditions were part of stormtrooper training. If anything Phasma’s bad education was to blame. 

“As interesting as this conversation is, we do have a mission to finish.” Han reminded him.  
Finn shook his head. This wasn’t the time to think about the apparently miscommunication that had happened between himself and the love struck general. 

Once the shields were down and they have found Rey. Han Solo looks at him and grins, “So, got cold feet at the altar.” 

Finn groans. 

He never even said yes!

-

Phasma Finn gets.

Some of the stormtroopers they come across giving him the stink eye once he’s recognized also makes sense. 

They are all taught to be loyal to their commanding officers since the moment they are taken. 

He even gets the sudden string of bounty hunters after his head. He figured Hux wouldn’t give up so easily. But at some point would just grow bored with hunting a lowly stormtrooper and find some other toy to busy himself. So he puts up with all of them, even though some of his new friends look at him with some level of pity.

To his luck they believe the First Order's interest in getting him back has to do more with him being a traitor than the fact that General Hux is infatuated with him. That’s a can of worms he’s not opening! 

The next source of a headache Finn definitely doesn’t get though. 

“I’m taking you back.” 

“Excuse me?” Rey has her lightsaber out already and it is giving the Knight one of her best and scariest glares—the one she learned from the General herself. 

“Yeah, at first I was all for Hux being miserable. But he’s mopping around is starting to affect my training, plus he’s the only person who actually talks to me.” Ren shrugs his shoulder. “Which he now refuses to do because he’s so busying crying about ‘his stormtrooper lover running away with a Resistance pilot right before his big planned wedding’.”

“Wait, what?” Finn can feel Poe and Rey’s eyes on him, but he’s too embarrassed to look at them. He can’t risk seen the disappointment in their eyes, 

“Look—maybe my reason to run from the First orders was a bit more complex than I’ve told you” He blushes. “But I didn’t get cold feet. It was supposed to be about sex…and the soft pillows and then Hux was going on about marriage and adopting a cat or something. So I—” He waves his hands, “Was influenced to leave before things got…uncomfortable.” 

“And I’m never going back! I have friends now. Real friends.” Finn is practically shouting. He’d never intended for things to go that far. He’d been nothing but a low ranking stormtrooper. How could he suddenly become a general’s husband? 

“As fascinating as your love life is,” Kylo Ren reminds them he’s still in the room with an amused grin, “I’m still taking you back. And you can solve—whatever this is.” 

“No!” Both of his friends scream and charge forward.

-

“If you hurt them I’m going to kill you!” Finn yells back at the Knight of Ren currently carrying him on his shoulder towards the ship. His friends had barely reached Kylo before the man had flipped his wrist and sent them flying backwards.

Finn had tried to reach them, but found himself unable to move until Kylo reached for him and flipped him over his shoulder like some strange damsel in distress. 

And he couldn’t even move his legs to try and hit the other were it really hurt. “Put me down Kylo, my friends are going to come back for me.” 

Kylo murmurs something under his breath that Finn doesn’t catch, but only makes him want to hit the other even more. 

Finn is starting to get desperate the moment Kylo’s ship comes into view. “If you let me go I’ll convince Luke and Rey to give you Anakin’s lightsaber! Your weird Darth Vader collection will be complete!”

Kylo seems to consider this for a moment before he keeps walking and Finn screams internally. 

“Keep squirming like that and I’ll remember that I didn’t promise to bring you in one piece.” At that Finn presses his lips together and manages to lift his head up far enough to glare down at the taller man. 

“Let him go Kylo.” Finn glances up to see Rey appear from around one of the corners, lightsaber in hand and a fierce look of pure determination on her face. She’s followed closely behind by Poe. 

Kylo Ren curses, but drops Finn unceremoniously on the ground before pulling out his weapon. Both lightsabers crash against each other in a shower of sparks and Finn visibly winces. Poe wraps his arms around his midsection and starts to pull him away from the fight.

To their luck this is the exact same moment the other pilots flight in. 

Kylo looks between them and curses. He pushes Rey backwards before turning around and leaping inside his ship. Disappearing from sight.

Once they are settled back on their own ship he hears Poe sigh, “This has been the weirdest mission I’ve been on.” 

Finn bitterly agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do something longer, but I figured this story works better in small bits. 
> 
> (Also, I might or might not be working on a darker take to this prompt. I was going to include it here, but I felt like it would be a pretty sudden change of tone from crack, so I decided it would work better as a separated story.)


End file.
